A high school teacher twice the age stalks a blind female student all over school while lip-synching to the song. The RSL Auction Co Not quite: Toymaker Elie Martin was terrified of water as a child, so in 1878 he created these wind-up dolls to spread a little of that terror around. Fuck you, a child is not playing with that thing. Yes, buy them and name them. The point of the song is that the girl's boyfriend is using her car, her phone to make calls and buying her things with her own money so she wants him to pay the bills. I worked at a cafe/bistro in Kona, Hawaii when I was an awkward 19 year old as a dishwasher, but when it was slow, they would send the servers home and I'd walk orders out to tables. What, you're saying he's just catching that pig or, at worst, strangling it? This 1965 Hasbro toy, designed in conjunction with Azezel, Who Rules Over Despair, came into being when someone realized that the most powerful marketing tool wasn't desire, but humanity's own overpowering desire to seek their own destruction. Some versions of the song end here, but Died for Love (as performed here by Martin and Eliza Carthy) continues, with a verse in which her father enters her bedroom to find her "hanging by a rope", with a note attached to her chest asking him to bury her with marble stones at her head and feet, with a snow-white dove in the middle, "just to let the world know that I died for love.". Inspired by S.O.D., Scatterbrain, and Cheech and Chong, the 14-track Grandpa Metal is full of songs that are supposed to be funny — and deliver on that intention in spades. GoGo Mag know any unintentionally creepy songs? Potato Head hasn't always been the lovable subliminal advocate of plastic surgery that we know today. Operate the crank until he springs out at your face." From the first verse, he finds himself wishing he could have stepped forward to warn them, the way "our mothers" warned local children, that you can't outrun the tide, and then introduces this poetic refrain: "For the tide is The Devil, it will run you out of breath / Race you to the seashore, chase you to your death / The tide is the very Devil and the Devil has its day / On the lonely cockle banks of Morecambe Bay. DON'T TOUCH HER HAND. Legendary Soviet baritoneEduard Khilwas known as the “Symbol of Leningrad” in his younger years. However, he’s best remembered as a momentary symbol of the Internet. The Most Unintentionally Entertaining Kids Shows to Put on for Your Children ... these kids hate that stuff because it looks old and creepy now. Thanks for connecting! In The Knoxville Girl, sung by, among others, The Lemonheads, Elvis Costello and Nick Cave (who knows a thing or two about murder ballads), the singer hits the object of his affections with a stick, many times, although earlier variants have her stabbed with a knife, and then drowned for good measure. Famously used in the soundtrack to Halloween II and subsequent iterations of the horror movie franchise, the lullaby croon of this single by The Chordettes is … It's a tale of a woman pining for her true love who has set out to sea and not returned. If your gullible child actually makes the terrible mistake of looking in the drawer, she is immediately soul-swapped with the snowman and takes his place on the Throne of Infinite Foulness. "Just kidding. Dressed in burlap, with eyes that have seen through time, weeping for all the atrocities she must inflict upon you, Little Miss No-Name came complete with creepy little poem and presumably some very detailed goat-sacrifice instructions. Our names are Death, Destroyer of Childhood.". Which is the kind of stark message from the hereafter that you never really got in Ghost. ... it's no wonder we learned to fear the unseen. Ninety nine red balloons. The one below bears the inscription "What wonder, Miss/May be in this?/Make me free/and you'll see. Jack-in-the-boxes have been teaching children about the horrors of the uncanny valley since the 16th century. One day this lady was breastfeeding her kid in full view at her table and of course I was the only one available to take her drink out to her, so I take her coffee out to her and try like hell to avoid eye contact. But honestly, nobody builds that alien-flesh-crab-that-just-stole-a-human-face motherfucker down there and thinks "Yes, the kids will love this.". The plastic version we think of today wasn't produced until 1964, which meant children had 12 long years to spend lying awake at night, wondering exactly how much their corn hated them, and knowing the answer was at least "more than anything.". Tracy dedicates this and all her articles in memory of her brother. If lightning's in short supply, it just needs an unknowing child's touch. There's no way that your material desire and the spark of human creativity will bring them to life so they can steal your blood. Also known as Hanged I Shall Be, The Oxford Tragedy, The Oxford Girl, The Wexford Girl, The Butcher Boy and many others, this song - variants of which date back to the 1700s - is one of many murder ballads in the folk canon that follow a similar pattern. Related Reading: There's a secret conspiracy hiding behind every 90s toy commercial. When you go on vacation, you probably feel obligated to buy some kitschy souvenirs, like a key chain, or a silly T-shirt, or a wooden toy that looks like it was carved for use in an occult ritual. Matty at first refuses her advances, then capitulates, but one of Lord Donald's servants has told his master. Unintentionally Funny Songs. Well, OK, his official explanation was that he hoped watching the doll flail around in a vague mockery of human movement would somehow make children more comfortable with water. Lead singer … In the Shirley Collins version, he then explains that their love, while it was once "the fairest flower that e'er was seen / Has withered to the stalk", going on to add: "The stalk is withered dry, true love / So must our hearts decay / Then rest yourself content, my dear / Till God calls you away". Each verse offers a chance to find where representatives of a particular rank might be found - from sergeant down to private - with the officers described as being variously "lying on the canteen floor" to "miles and miles behind the line". Like all good stories, folk music is largely about three things: sex, death and politics. The song was popular with the soldiers (but not their commanding officers) during the latter days of the war, and was recreated by Chumbawamba for their a capella collection of insurrectionary old folk tunes, English Rebel Songs 1381–1984. Because this is how you summon the Old Gods. Mr. Read about our approach to external linking. Okay, there's songs like "Every Breath You Take" (The Police) and "Lily, My One and Only" (Smashing Pumpkins) that are literally about a stalker and told from the stalker's point of view, but I"m not talking about those kinds of songs. Lionel Ritchie's "Hello", it's creepy in a funny way. We thought wrong. Then the guilt starts. Oh hey, and did you know rich kids get to play with the BB-version of a goddamn minigun. BBC Radio 2 - The Folk Show with Mark Radcliffe. Quiz: How many of these Mastermind music questions can you answer? Frederick Pine It's about people in the higher echelons of society abusing those who are lower down and appearing to get away with it. The Secret of NIMH (1982) Sure watching a bunch of humans torture mice with hideous yellow injections was creepy — but that was just the icing on the cake. I would have preferred a greater number of the songs to be primarily either unintentionally creepy or songs that are deceptively happy sounding. Hurry, before it's too late!". It's the song of a desperate, ill person begging for their life, with Death himself boasting that he will shut the body down, and why? Outraged, the Lord finds the couple in bed, and insists that Matty fight. Burn them all. Her passion is such that, after a year-long graveside vigil, her man rises up to speak to her, so that he can truly rest in peace. But this song from the 1918 trenches didn't make the cut, probably because it portrays the hierarchy of army life in quite a brutal light. Additionally, "Blue Velvet" has always seemed a bit disturbing since David Lynch's eponymous film. 84% Upvoted. If by some miracle Martin hadn't accidentally glimpsed the void and gone mad before crafting the Ondine swimming dolls, he sure as hell did afterward. And if you love crazy foreign versions of American toys, you'll love Robertcop. 0. Their heads, bodies, arms, and legs were all interchangeable, so the police never quite knew which one was responsible for the abductions. For those unfamiliar with the prolific jam band, the lyrics to their … Cracked is published by Literally Media Ltd., 9 Unintentionally Terrifying Old-Timey Children's Toys, 15 Gifts That Don't Require Shipping For Late Bums, Home Depot's Twelve-Foot Skeletons Are Now Used As Christmas Decor, 7 Highly-Specific Festivus Grievances You May Not Relate To But Whatever, Man, 21 Vintage Toys That Absolutely Ruined Christmas Morning, Octopuses Punch Fish Out of Spite, Research Shows, stacking acrobat toys called Crandall's Acrobats, Disney's Acrobatic Spider-Man Robot Is Going To Kill Someone, Shaq Once Offered A Teammate $10K To Fight Kobe, The Creepy Horror Storyline Hidden in 'Peppa Pig', 'Sweater Guy' Ken Bone Is Not Someone To Listen To In 2020, The Potato Chip That Destroyed The Bowels Of America, Get Ready To Be Horny For Jason Momoa As Frosty The Snowman. Posted by. "And wonder why/My limbs spread wide? The concept was stretched a little too far. This song has ALWAYS creeped me out. They could have made him extend his hand, they could have made him tip his hat -- hell, they could have made that pig's mouth open up in a death rattle when you hit the switch, and it still would have been less disturbing than Paddy extruding his grimy black tongue to lick the face of his latest porcine victim. Some love songs are downright creepy. Almost overnight, the conservatory-trained People’s Artist of Russia award winner was introduced to the West as a meme: his “trolo… Mystery solved. Tracy's Toys By Alex Fletcher I've always thought The Beatles' "Honey Pie" was pretty creepy. In 1867, toymaker, inventor, and probable serial child murderer Charles M. Crandall created these stacking acrobat toys called Crandall's Acrobats.These leering, pasty-faced performers looked less like fun-loving tumblers mid routine and more like they were trying to combine themselves to form some sort of molestation Voltron. 8 unintentionally scary children's TV characters that still terrify us Which classic children's TV characters still haunt the Digital Spy team? So it wasn't so much "Mr. Why is Sherlock So Jacked in 'Enola Holmes'? Radio 1 Live Music - Bring Me The Horizon, Tom Walker & Red Hot Chilli Pipers - Leave A Light On. A man spots a woman he likes the look of, so he takes her to a remote location to pitch woo, but kills her instead. Yeah, the Valve interpretation is the less scary version. Matters of the heart have a habit of turning red, raw and bloody in traditional songs, and so it goes with Died for Love, also known as A Sailor's Life, Sweet William, and Willie the Bold Sailor Boy (and performed by everyone from Fairport Convention to The Watersons). The human side of this preventable tragedy was captured in the song On Morecambe Bay, by Kevin Littlewood, which has been memorably covered by Christy Moore, thanks to the intervention of Mike Harding (as Christy reveals in this interview with Cerys Matthews). "Here, child, there is a tiny man imprisoned in this box. I'm tasting your soul ...". share. Also known as Conversations with Death, this song comes from the Appalachian mountains, wellspring of country music. Creepy lyrics: "There was an old lady who swallowed a fly, I don't know why she swallowed a fly, perhaps she'll die!". Surprise! Desperate to find him, she sets out to sea herself and meets the Queen's ship. When you couple that terrible premise with execution like this ... Cashmere Junkie There are plenty of folk songs that warn young women against the reputation-shredding advances of lecherous men, from the direct O Soldier Won't You Marry Me to the poetic Let No Man Steal Your Thyme. She then meets two babies in the entrance to a church, and tells them she'd treat them wonderfully if they were hers. In this documentary, made by Howard Sounes, author of Down the Highway: The Life of Bob Dylan, we find out more about the case from first hand witnesses, and even hear from Zantzinger himself, who turns out not to be much of a Dylan fan. Haha, OK. Now we know that history is fucking with us. The true “stalker’s anthem.”. The song is catchy but damn is it creepy. Every move you make. Even at the base conceptual level, jack-in-the-boxes are some heavy shit to lay on an infant. Do you want to summon the Old Gods? (Trick question: They all were.). I'm looking for a song that isn't necessarily creepy, but hearing it on a scratchy record player would freak you out. So maybe you just abandon it and move on to building another: The family includes Skinny's sister, Ginny Bones; their dog, Ham Bones; and Trom Bones, the horse. He began life in 1952 as a collection of 28 pieces that you were supposed to jam into your own fruits or vegetables. Abductors and captives end up in the dismemberment piles. We're not sure why every single set of facial features includes wide, unblinking eyes full of hypnotic terror, but here you go: VintageTVCommercials Check out the artists we're taking to SXSW! First —. It concerns a woman who kills her two new-born children with a knife. Well, they were for 19th century tourists, who bought tons of them in the port city of Kobe, Japan. IbMePdErRoIoAmL,Aug 25, 2014 Did somebody read the Book of Creation backward on the winter solstice? What A Lovely War retold the history of the First World War using popular songs of the time as a darkly comic way of satirically retelling the story of the conflict. Matty Groves (as sung here by Ben Nicholls) is the story of a young man who catches the eye of the local lord's wife - in Sandy Denny's version of the song with Fairport Convention, he's Lord Donald, but the names and song titles change often. Those cruel Victorian parents who gifted the early boxes knew exactly what they were doing. As we've seen, folk music works exceptionally well at putting across the personal side of a story with political ramifications, and this is just as true when it's sung about a recent event. ", Museum of Childhood Quiz: Have you been getting these lyrics wrong all this time? Examples: Joanna Newsom - the sprout and the bean Merle Haggard - mama tried Tiny Tim - tiptoe through the tulips (and yes, I know all of these were used in popular movies) Toys that almost certainly contain some sort of ironic curse aren't your idea of a fun little gift for the kids back home? He'll be back again someday. You know, for kids. This page has been archived and is no longer updated. We're pretty sure we saw these in the background of Vincent D'Onofrio's mind in The Cell. 4 months ago. Incase you're curious, that song is, "good bye horses" by Q Lazzarus. u/TheProdigis. Every Breath You Take by The Police. By contrast, the poor privates (or battalion, depending on the version of the song) can be found "hanging on the old barbed wire". Each version tends to end in a similar way, with the singer realising he's bound for prison, and maybe the gallows, and also most certainly for eternal damnation. 4. “Calendar Girl” by Neil Sedaka, 1961. I'm talking about the kind of songs that are about entirely different things, but lyrically give you weird vibes In the song, the red balloons in question are mistaken for an air attack, and as a result the Soviet bloc and the west go to war. Floating in the summer sky. Seriously, that skeletal cherub up there is one magical life-giving lightning strike away from an unstoppable murder spree. While this song isn't 'creepy' per se, it's subject matter is much darker than most people assume. ", 10 long-awaited albums that will be the soundtrack of 2019, 8 predictions for music in 2019 from expert pop forecasters, 7 of the most scathing record reviews of the year, 9 brilliant music videos that you may have missed in 2018, Test your knowledge of the year in music with our poptastic quiz, 7 heartbreaking Christmas songs that might make you cry. Discover it here. The song - as performed by Jeannie Robertson, Steeleye Span, Planxty and The Imagined Village - tells the story of a handsome soldier or traveller stuck outside the window of a young woman on a rotten evening. Unfortunately, they've been difficult to find ever since the manufacturer released a recall notice that just read, "Burn them. Back in 2009, someone with way too much time on their hands discovered a gibberish performance by Khil dating back to 1976. Kobe dolls were carved out of wood, featured a mechanism that made their mouths open or their tongues and eyes bug out, and may have been designed as a passive-aggressive response to imperialism. Kids in the old days had it rough. Written largely by Lloyd Chandler, there are two key versions (amid many popular covers), one in the late 1920s by banjo player Dock Boggs, and the a capella version in 2000 by bluegrass legend Ralph Stanley, for the film O Brother, Where Art Thou? Why do these exist? 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